Being Born in Beijing

By KATHARINA SCHNEIDER-ROOS

My baby was conceived in Beijing on April 21, 2003. I remember the exact date, as my husband left for Germany the next day. In the West, a pregnancy lasts nine months, but according to the Chinese, it takes 10 moons, something I initially find very confusing.

A mother and her new born baby

Right after the announcement of my pregnancy to Chinese and Western friends, I began getting advice from all directions. The most common advice was “Don’t take too much advice!’’, usually quickly followed by “Don’t go to this hospital, go to that one!’’, or vice versa from the next person. Everyone would relate stories about how their friends had experienced traumatic hospital visits. Chinese friends were more inclined to give me nutrition and exercise tips. The food shouldn’t be too hot, and should contain no seafood or ginger, they said. Others said that was nonsense, and encouraged me to drink black chicken soup.

East and West also agree upon a pregnant belly being free for anyone to touch. I would never have thought of my friends or even waitresses in restaurants to palm my belly, to stroke it or to touch it otherwise—an unforgettable experience.

From all the advice, I came to believe that according to Chinese understanding, the best thing to do during pregnancy is not to move at all, and to be supported by your husband when walking. I ignored this and went swimming three times a week—by Western doctrine the best activit that should be pursued until the end of the pregnancy. My Chinese friends warned me I could suffer serious ailments, which wouldn’t show up until old age. I had to beware of the “wind” (i.e. cold draught) until yuezi, the first month after the birth. During the first month after giving birth, the woman should not leave the house, should not wash, and, above all, should not expose herself to “wind.” Perhaps this custom has its roots in the harsh living conditions of rural life, but in today’s cities, with 24-hour heating and hot water, it no longer seems relevant.

The most important question posed by my Chinese friends was: Boy or girl? To determine this, there are various methods of probing. Did the pregnant woman feel sick during the first three months? Did she throw up her food? Based on the answers to these questions, it had to be a boy.

We spoiled the game and had the sex of the child shown to us in an ultrasonic test. It was a boy. Because of this fact, the examining doctor regarded the father as particularly lucky and presented him with an ultrasonic picture of the baby’s penis. The reactions of my Chinese friends varied. Some congratulated us on being so fortunate having a boy. Others scolded us, thinking we only had the ultrasonic test done to determine the sex as early as possible. We were just happy that now the search for a German name had been narrowed down to boys only. The search for a Chinese name was left to the Chinese doctor, who will determine the most fitting and fortunate name, by methods passed down over centuries. He also assists me with questions not asked in Western hospitals, such as the balance of my stomach qi, or energy flow. His mother was a renowned midwife and I am already looking forward to a lot of practical advice for the care of the newborn. In this regards I will also rely on my mother, who will stay by my side during the birth and one month after it, something common in the East and West.

We eventually decided on an American hospital for the birth. Two Chinese hospitals, which are of the same quality, or possibly even better equipped, would also have come into consideration, but I didn’t want to struggle with cultural differences and linguistic confusion in such a sensitive situation. I was told by friends that the rate of cesarean sections in Chinese hospitals is much higher than in the West and that husbands are not asked to be around during the birth. Considering this, as my husband and I wanted to go through that experience together, the Chinese hospitals were not a good option.

We now hope that the months that follow go as well as the first six have. After the birth we will have to decide on the baby’s citizenship—my husband and I have a total of three citizenships already. Chinese would be another option, due to the place of birth and would make this baby a true citizen of the world!